Values and our lives purposes

Have you ever thought about your life's purpose? why are you living in this world? what are you living for?
Difficult question, ha? It's more likely to ask why are you breathing? Seems we have taken our living for granted! In most of the time we set goals and start to get going towards it, but at the middle of the way , we start hesitating, IS THAT THE RIGHT WAY?
It's very similar to the situation when you devise a trip and don't know where is your exact destination......you may proceed to the nearest city but where to go after it?
When you don't have a specific map,it's not easy to keep going, each moment you may think of whether you are in the right way or not..
So how to make sure of being on the right track?
GOOD QUESTION !!!
Just take a look at what you've done and been fulfilled by it....what is most remarkable on them? What has made you satisfied ? What is common pattern between them?
Is that possible that you have been following goals that were based on your values and that's why you've been fulfilled?
What if you get clear on your values first then enlighten your purpose of life?

Communication

I was thinking about communication and the constructive and distructive factors that impact on it.
If you know how to communicate you may start a good relationship and if you don't know you may destroy it all at once.
But how to communicate? What are those distuctive factors we need to avoid when we communicate? How to make a good relationship?
Why do you start a relationship of any kind? what does it bring to your life that you have made it happen?
Take a paper and write down some of those reasons? Is there anything else? Yes/No? What?
Can't start writing? Need help?
Think about the moments you're alone, it happens for all of us in many times,regardless of who we are,what gender we have,....remember the first time you start to communicate with someone else,why did you begin to communicate?
Remember your best friend and the time you've spent with him/her?
What did s/he bring to your moments?
Now think about someone who you don't like to spend time with, what s/he bring to your moments?
How your feelings are different when you're in those moments?
Write down those two extreme scenarious in different sides of a paper sheet then compare them.
Ask from 5 of your friends to do the same, how similar they've replied?how different?
What factors are the same?
how are you going to bring those factors in your relationships?

Visualization and coaching

OH YEP!!!
That's what I researched recently......Visualization!!!
I'm going to bring what I've found and share it with you.
Here it is...
When I started to research, there was two directions I could take,one was about how it works in a scientific point of view,the other was how much it is helpful in coaching.
Let's follow the first direction at the beginning;
There are different explanations for how imagination works in terms of personal reality's creation and I present as much as I can.....
As Quantum Physics states,every material object can acts as a packet of waves as well.
By solving the most fundamental equation in Quantum Physics which has been introduced by Schrodinger in any special case,we will find a super position of states or probabilities as a solution for that equation, in order to reach out the final solution in the real world, based on what we are measuring or observing we reduce the states or probabilities to one state/probability.
The reduction of states during observation to just one state is what we choose in our reality,that means every one of us as an observer can change the reality just by choosing the special probability.....wow!!!
So by changing your thoughts you are able to change your environment.
There is also another explanation which uses the spooky action at distance, it also uses the functionality of neurons as electromagnetic waves producers in our brains, this electromagnetic waves can also demonstrate particle characteristics, when you sense something by your body's sensors these particle-waves been created by neurons, what if you just imagine something , it's opposite of sensation,right? in this way the source of the image can be ceated in the reality via spooky action at distance......
you may read my research paper in order to get more details....
Let's get back and go to the second direction , that means How it works in coaching...

there are two ways:

1. As a coaching tool/fieldwork/exercise helping the client reprogram his/her subconscious just like the way that affirmations work
2. By having the client imagine what s/he desires and supporting him/her through creation of a clear picture of what s/he wants, help him/her to come up with the best solutions

There are several effective visualisation techniques which I will bring about in my future posts...

Viewing an issue via different perspectives

For the first time when I heard about reframing perspectives it reminded me of holograms which you can turn around it to see the picture from different angles......
As I experienced more, I found that it's absolutely the same as viewing a hologram through different angles...let me show you how similar they are..
In a particular session when a client comes to you with a challenge in his/her life just with some questions you may help him/her to see the issue from different perspectives and the most poweful perspective will probably become the new one for him/her.
Here is some useful questions:
The perspective of Balance

• What's going on in other areas of life that is putting pressure on this area or making it more difficult for you to reach your goal?
• What do you have to thankful for in your life right now?

The perspective of time

• What will this decision look like in ten years?what will most crucial then?
• Imagine you are 75 years old,looking back on your life.what would you most regret if you took this road?
• If youwere still doing this in five years,how would it affect you?your family?your destiny?

The Perspective of passion/purpose

• Let's say this situation is custom-designed to prepare you for what you are born to do.How would that change your perspective on your circumstances?
• Why must this be done?

The viewpoint of others

• How is this affecting your family,relationships,friends and others around you?
• Just as an exercise,let's try on the perspectives of the other players,how would this look through your boss's eyes?

The perspective of freedom

• What about this situation is under your control and what if it isn't?
• What can you do about the part you can change?
• What can you do about the other part?

The perspective of motives

• What is motivating you to go this direction?
• What are you proactively reaching toward?
• What sre you trying to get away from?
• What do you need?

The perspective of confidence

Imagine yourself with total confidence that you could make this happen-you just knew that you knew.How would that change your approach?

OK! Now your client has been led to see the things differently,in other words has experienced different colors on his/her eyeglasses.

It's time to leave him/her to make choices!!!

Enjoy this exercise:)

Trust

This year I got apart from most of my intimate friends,those who I rely on most and share so many things with them....
When I heard another is going to leave I just got back to my heart looking for a reason ...
What's going on around me....a voice said you're now in a place in your life that can rely on yourself and be more strong....trust that everything is happening is perfect,trust God sending you the most precious gifts from now on......so a big smile appeared on my face sending my love to all of my friends who are distant but still in my heart.....

Gratitude

What are you grateful for? There's not much time when we look at what we have......
Mostly we look for defects,flaws and what we don't have regardless of this may hold us back!!!

The biggest question

It's a cloudy day of March and am sitting beside the window,watching outside.Trees have started sprouting and my mind is full of thoughts.
Recently I've been faced with several changes in my life and have not still settled down to the future,maybe it's time,maybe not!
I'm wandering what I really want?
The big question I've never thought seriously,maybe I've been so busy to think about it,but where was I going?what had made me so busy if I didn't know what I want?
I left to ask others if they know what they really want?there was no specific answer,seems nobody knows?
Trees know that they need to be grown,bring fruits or at least give others their Shadow or anything they have to offer.
Birds are singing,flying into the vast blueness of sky and I think they know what they want,they know what they are made for?
Even wind knows where to go and surprisingly I'm still thinking.......!!!!
The most wonderful question for all human beings :What I really want?Where am I supposed to go?
How to start going?
The most common aim which I could see in everything was happiness,so I took a paper and wrote what I've done already that has made me happy and has given to me joy and power,...
Gradually I become more clear....

Acceptance vs. resistance

There's time when we need to let something go.

Acceptance means make an agreement to take something offered.

Resistance instead means opposing or using force against.

If you could imagine that you've taken acceptance in one hand and resistance in other hand,what would you feel,which hand do you feel is much heavier and needs much more energy to stay in balance?

As the meanings say,when we accept something we may feel lightness and when we resist we are forcing something not to happen it means we feel burden.

Our belief system should be reconsidered so that we can manage our feelings in a better way.
What belief make you resist something?What's your perspective around it?
How can you re frame that perspective?
When we resist, mostly we are judging and according to our judgments we will try to control something,so can't let go of anything.
On the other hand when we accept we are not in a position of judging and new opportunities will come to us.
What do you think?

The crossroads of life

What do you do if you face a crossroad in your life?
A difficult point of making decisions,recently I've been in that point several times,wandering what to do next?
It might be easy to deal with those situations if there's nothing to do with your feelings,even if you are the one who has decided to bring those feelings in her heart,still it's hard to manage those difficult times.
What could probably help you figure all those hard times out is mostly trust.
Trust to what has happened is perfect for you and there's something you should learn from it.Letting go of any doubt and negative thoughts coming to your mind and moving forward will be absolutely the best action you should do in those hard times.
I discussed detaching from the outcome with one of my sweet clients and we reached the point of being in the present and not judging anything is the best way of acceptance and enjoying the process regardless of what outcome will be.
So,in those crossroads of your life what will you do?
What could help you or your clients who are in such situations?
The question that I often ask is what are you judging at that hard time?
and to help them make a decision and move forward ask them about the opportunities each way can bring to their lives?
and then what opportunity brings more joy to your life?
What question would you ask?
What tools would you use supporting the client who is facing a crossroad?

Fears

An old man said to his grand son :"Boy,I have two tigers caged within me,one is love and compassion,the other is fear and anger".
The young boy asked :"which one will win,grand father?".
The old man replied:"The one I feed".
What's your perspective around this story?
These are some of the things we fear to loose:

• Identity (Ego)
• Control
• Security
• Freedom (Free Will)
• Health
• Aboundance

Are you afraid of something?What might you loose?