What are you grateful for? There's not much time when we look at what we have......
Mostly we look for defects,flaws and what we don't have regardless of this may hold us back!!!
What To Say When He Freezes You Out – Video
2 years ago
Friday, May 14, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The biggest question
It's a cloudy day of March and am sitting beside the window,watching outside.Trees have started sprouting and my mind is full of thoughts.
Recently I've been faced with several changes in my life and have not still settled down to the future,maybe it's time,maybe not!
I'm wandering what I really want?
The big question I've never thought seriously,maybe I've been so busy to think about it,but where was I going?what had made me so busy if I didn't know what I want?
I left to ask others if they know what they really want?there was no specific answer,seems nobody knows?
Trees know that they need to be grown,bring fruits or at least give others their Shadow or anything they have to offer.
Birds are singing,flying into the vast blueness of sky and I think they know what they want,they know what they are made for?
Even wind knows where to go and surprisingly I'm still thinking.......!!!!
The most wonderful question for all human beings :What I really want?Where am I supposed to go?
How to start going?
The most common aim which I could see in everything was happiness,so I took a paper and wrote what I've done already that has made me happy and has given to me joy and power,...
Gradually I become more clear....
Recently I've been faced with several changes in my life and have not still settled down to the future,maybe it's time,maybe not!
I'm wandering what I really want?
The big question I've never thought seriously,maybe I've been so busy to think about it,but where was I going?what had made me so busy if I didn't know what I want?
I left to ask others if they know what they really want?there was no specific answer,seems nobody knows?
Trees know that they need to be grown,bring fruits or at least give others their Shadow or anything they have to offer.
Birds are singing,flying into the vast blueness of sky and I think they know what they want,they know what they are made for?
Even wind knows where to go and surprisingly I'm still thinking.......!!!!
The most wonderful question for all human beings :What I really want?Where am I supposed to go?
How to start going?
The most common aim which I could see in everything was happiness,so I took a paper and wrote what I've done already that has made me happy and has given to me joy and power,...
Gradually I become more clear....
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Acceptance vs. resistance
There's time when we need to let something go.
Acceptance means make an agreement to take something offered.
Resistance instead means opposing or using force against.
If you could imagine that you've taken acceptance in one hand and resistance in other hand,what would you feel,which hand do you feel is much heavier and needs much more energy to stay in balance?
As the meanings say,when we accept something we may feel lightness and when we resist we are forcing something not to happen it means we feel burden.
Our belief system should be reconsidered so that we can manage our feelings in a better way.
What belief make you resist something?What's your perspective around it?
How can you re frame that perspective?
When we resist, mostly we are judging and according to our judgments we will try to control something,so can't let go of anything.
On the other hand when we accept we are not in a position of judging and new opportunities will come to us.
What do you think?
Acceptance means make an agreement to take something offered.
Resistance instead means opposing or using force against.
If you could imagine that you've taken acceptance in one hand and resistance in other hand,what would you feel,which hand do you feel is much heavier and needs much more energy to stay in balance?
As the meanings say,when we accept something we may feel lightness and when we resist we are forcing something not to happen it means we feel burden.
Our belief system should be reconsidered so that we can manage our feelings in a better way.
What belief make you resist something?What's your perspective around it?
How can you re frame that perspective?
When we resist, mostly we are judging and according to our judgments we will try to control something,so can't let go of anything.
On the other hand when we accept we are not in a position of judging and new opportunities will come to us.
What do you think?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The crossroads of life
What do you do if you face a crossroad in your life?
A difficult point of making decisions,recently I've been in that point several times,wandering what to do next?
It might be easy to deal with those situations if there's nothing to do with your feelings,even if you are the one who has decided to bring those feelings in her heart,still it's hard to manage those difficult times.
What could probably help you figure all those hard times out is mostly trust.
Trust to what has happened is perfect for you and there's something you should learn from it.Letting go of any doubt and negative thoughts coming to your mind and moving forward will be absolutely the best action you should do in those hard times.
I discussed detaching from the outcome with one of my sweet clients and we reached the point of being in the present and not judging anything is the best way of acceptance and enjoying the process regardless of what outcome will be.
So,in those crossroads of your life what will you do?
What could help you or your clients who are in such situations?
The question that I often ask is what are you judging at that hard time?
and to help them make a decision and move forward ask them about the opportunities each way can bring to their lives?
and then what opportunity brings more joy to your life?
What question would you ask?
What tools would you use supporting the client who is facing a crossroad?
A difficult point of making decisions,recently I've been in that point several times,wandering what to do next?
It might be easy to deal with those situations if there's nothing to do with your feelings,even if you are the one who has decided to bring those feelings in her heart,still it's hard to manage those difficult times.
What could probably help you figure all those hard times out is mostly trust.
Trust to what has happened is perfect for you and there's something you should learn from it.Letting go of any doubt and negative thoughts coming to your mind and moving forward will be absolutely the best action you should do in those hard times.
I discussed detaching from the outcome with one of my sweet clients and we reached the point of being in the present and not judging anything is the best way of acceptance and enjoying the process regardless of what outcome will be.
So,in those crossroads of your life what will you do?
What could help you or your clients who are in such situations?
The question that I often ask is what are you judging at that hard time?
and to help them make a decision and move forward ask them about the opportunities each way can bring to their lives?
and then what opportunity brings more joy to your life?
What question would you ask?
What tools would you use supporting the client who is facing a crossroad?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Fears
An old man said to his grand son :"Boy,I have two tigers caged within me,one is love and compassion,the other is fear and anger".
The young boy asked :"which one will win,grand father?".
The old man replied:"The one I feed".
What's your perspective around this story?
These are some of the things we fear to loose:
The young boy asked :"which one will win,grand father?".
The old man replied:"The one I feed".
What's your perspective around this story?
These are some of the things we fear to loose:
- Identity (Ego)
- Control
- Security
- Freedom (Free Will)
- Health
- Aboundance
Are you afraid of something?What might you loose?
Friday, December 25, 2009
My coaching experience!
I had two clients today and one yesterday.I'd heard that the coach should help the coachee to see his/her issue in different perspective,the point was supporting the client to make the shift and not to push him/er to shift.
I experienced it today,when I ask my clients to tell two stories each one separately.My first client told his stories and I was W.A.I.T ing and then found the common behaviour which my client has showed and gave him that as a feedback.I said: what I heard was that you've done this same behaviour in facing those situations,tell me more.What kind of commitment made you to do that?
Helping him to reach out to his UAC(Underlying Automatic Commitment)and supporting him to choose how to support that UAC in order to make a positive shift.It was the aha moment for him.
A few hours later I received my second client call,I ask her the same question,having her to tell two stories.She told her stories but this time I CONCLUDED the common hidden behaviour showed by her in both stories.She agreed first and I thought I've helped her a lot but then,when I asked what did you take away from this session instead of what I expected,she said nothing much.
I think she'd not reached the point that I'd reached,maybe I was not able to supporting her to touch her UAC.Maybe my conclusion was like a judgement and it was not helpful for her,maybe she got aware of her UAC but not willing to let it go.What if I just mirroring what I'd seen in her stories,did I receive a reply like I'm now more clear on my issues in this session instead of I got nothing?
It was a good experience to get in touch with the philosophy of coaching.What do you take away from my experience?what's your perspective around it?
I experienced it today,when I ask my clients to tell two stories each one separately.My first client told his stories and I was W.A.I.T ing and then found the common behaviour which my client has showed and gave him that as a feedback.I said: what I heard was that you've done this same behaviour in facing those situations,tell me more.What kind of commitment made you to do that?
Helping him to reach out to his UAC(Underlying Automatic Commitment)and supporting him to choose how to support that UAC in order to make a positive shift.It was the aha moment for him.
A few hours later I received my second client call,I ask her the same question,having her to tell two stories.She told her stories but this time I CONCLUDED the common hidden behaviour showed by her in both stories.She agreed first and I thought I've helped her a lot but then,when I asked what did you take away from this session instead of what I expected,she said nothing much.
I think she'd not reached the point that I'd reached,maybe I was not able to supporting her to touch her UAC.Maybe my conclusion was like a judgement and it was not helpful for her,maybe she got aware of her UAC but not willing to let it go.What if I just mirroring what I'd seen in her stories,did I receive a reply like I'm now more clear on my issues in this session instead of I got nothing?
It was a good experience to get in touch with the philosophy of coaching.What do you take away from my experience?what's your perspective around it?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
What trust brings to your life?
When it comes to trust,mostly we think of a broad range of reliability to someone or something which itself comes from a strong background of cognition and it never comes without it.
We are naturally looking for information showing that the reliability to the special thing is for sure,so when there are not those information there's no trust!!!
But what exactly trust can bring to our lives?
What contexts need to be trusted?
When you are struggling with an special issue,how trust will work?
Trust to what by the way?
Trust to :what's happening is perfect regardless of what it is;
When you trust,you feel secure,confident,joy,....
To trust means: everything that has happened includes an important lesson ,it's a part of the journey of life,to trust means acceptance and letting go,it means gain.
Imagine yourself in the situation when you're not sure of what's going on,what makes you overwhelmed?what makes you confident?
What does stop you from trusting?Is that what you are judging?
Where does all of our concerns come from?
We are naturally looking for information showing that the reliability to the special thing is for sure,so when there are not those information there's no trust!!!
But what exactly trust can bring to our lives?
What contexts need to be trusted?
When you are struggling with an special issue,how trust will work?
Trust to what by the way?
Trust to :what's happening is perfect regardless of what it is;
When you trust,you feel secure,confident,joy,....
To trust means: everything that has happened includes an important lesson ,it's a part of the journey of life,to trust means acceptance and letting go,it means gain.
Imagine yourself in the situation when you're not sure of what's going on,what makes you overwhelmed?what makes you confident?
What does stop you from trusting?Is that what you are judging?
Where does all of our concerns come from?
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