I had two clients today and one yesterday.I'd heard that the coach should help the coachee to see his/her issue in different perspective,the point was supporting the client to make the shift and not to push him/er to shift.
I experienced it today,when I ask my clients to tell two stories each one separately.My first client told his stories and I was W.A.I.T ing and then found the common behaviour which my client has showed and gave him that as a feedback.I said: what I heard was that you've done this same behaviour in facing those situations,tell me more.What kind of commitment made you to do that?
Helping him to reach out to his UAC(Underlying Automatic Commitment)and supporting him to choose how to support that UAC in order to make a positive shift.It was the aha moment for him.
A few hours later I received my second client call,I ask her the same question,having her to tell two stories.She told her stories but this time I CONCLUDED the common hidden behaviour showed by her in both stories.She agreed first and I thought I've helped her a lot but then,when I asked what did you take away from this session instead of what I expected,she said nothing much.
I think she'd not reached the point that I'd reached,maybe I was not able to supporting her to touch her UAC.Maybe my conclusion was like a judgement and it was not helpful for her,maybe she got aware of her UAC but not willing to let it go.What if I just mirroring what I'd seen in her stories,did I receive a reply like I'm now more clear on my issues in this session instead of I got nothing?
It was a good experience to get in touch with the philosophy of coaching.What do you take away from my experience?what's your perspective around it?
What To Say When He Freezes You Out – Video
2 weeks ago
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Hi Sounds interesting. What does UAC mean? THanks
ReplyDeleteSonia
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ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience. I have personally felt that way in trainings and other workshops. It is hard to give take aways sometimes because the base is not ready and one is not sure where to fit in the skill or knowledge gained. Something like if the soil is not ready one cannot sow the seeds. One cannot therefore say what flowers will grow..:)
ReplyDeleteHi Sonia
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments.You're right maybe it takes time to get whatever you've learnt.
And UAC is an underlying automatic commitment that move you forward unconciously.
Regards
Hello Vahideh :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting observation. I have also experienced this through coaching. I agree with you, sometimes people are not where you think they are. Or something is stopping them from admitting or being honest with themselves.
I still think its ok to reflect back your conclusions to someone in a feedback way, it is interesting that she agreed with you first but then she said she got nothing.
I'm curious to know how you handled the situation when she said she got nothing from the session?
Love
Sanaz
My dear Sanaz
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment.
Regarding to your question I will say:One of our tasks as coaches is supporting the client being awared of their behaviours.
To do so mostly we give them feedback around what we've observed and helping them make good choices,sometimes they need time to be able to accept their behavioural patterns,in the mean time by asking some probing questions we can help them to make the best choice.
Much Love
Vahideh