Intuition in Coaching

"The only real valuable thing is intuition." -Albert Einstine
Intuition!!!What does it mean exactly?
This is essentially,arriving at decisions or conclusions without explicit or conscious processes of reasoned thinking.
It is sometimes thought that intuitions are reliable,and indeed we do act most of the time without knowing why or what our reasons may be.
It is certainly rare to set out an argument in formal terms,and go through the steps as prescribed by logicians.In this sense,alsmost all judgements and behaviours are 'intuitive'.
The term is used in philosophy to denote the alleged power of the mind to perceive or 'see' certain self-evident truths.
The statues of intuition has,however,declined over the last century,perhaps with the increasing emphasis on formal logic and explicit data and methods of science.
As we know intuition works as an essential part of coaching,actually as a power tool, in a tele dialog mostly received information come from listening,so you may find out how intuition will be helpful.
But how to use it and shall we trust it?
If we never successful in having it to work during our tele dialog how much of our information will be lost?
Do you think or have you ever found any evidence showing we can empower our intuition by practicing?
Which kind of practices will be useful then?

Relationship coaching

I was thinking about Life Coaching as my niche,but what approach in that would be the best for me?So I tried to research about different approaches in this special niche.
I started my research with making a list of my favourite approaches,in my list I found relationship coaching which was very interesting and usable.
I continued my research by listing different usual issues happening in every close relationship including mother/kids,wife/husband,Friends relationship,etc.
Finally I faced to one of the most destructive issues which is controlling others.
Controlling comes from lack of trust or security.We control others to make sure we have them close to us and never loose them , in other words feel security in our relationship, without considering others rights.
Also we control others because we can't trust to them or to something about them,we don't trust to their abilities,their way of doing things,their perspectives and their thoughts and opinions.
We judge them and destroy our relationship with lack of acceptance.
If we could trust and feel secure in each situation what would be our response to others?

Presence vs. Concern

During the sessions I've had with my different clients,I found my power tool which has helped me so many times.
Nowadays which is the time of rapid growth in technology; many times we have seen people who are anxious and worried about the future.They are physically here but mentally somewhere else. When they come to us seems they are scared about doing something or not sure how to do it.
Being at this moment make us feeling lightened, it brings a huge freedom of the future anxieties or the past related events.It also brings acceptance, trust and judgment free state of life.
In the one part of the introductory sections of "Unbearable lightness of life" Milan Kundera says that: "The absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthy being, and become only half real,his movements as free as they are insignificant.What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness? "
The German expression Einmal ist keinmal encapsulates “lightness”so: “what happens but once, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all”; if concluded logically, life ultimately is insignificant. Hence,because decisions do not matter, they are rendered light, because they do not cause personal suffering.
Yet, simultaneously, the insignificance of decisions — our being — causes us great suffering,perceived as the unbearable lightness of being consequent to one’s awareness of life occurring once and never again; thus no one person’s actions are universally significant.
Said insignificance is existentially unbearable, given that people want their lives to have transcendent meaning.
The amount of lightness of life is so that we can not bear it, and so we bring our fears and concerns to give it weight without considering the disappearance of the beauty of life ,ignoring the power of growth hidden in that lightness.
When you fly you are able to see every possibility around you.When we are living in the present moment, we are making the doors of opportunities opened.When we concern about the future we may unconsciously loose the control. It seems we are in lack of trust.
What if we trust that everything has its best ending point which is empowering and brings forth.
There will be no room for concerns then, it will make us move confident to make the best choice at the present and still having the power of the change. Concern brings burden, presence brings freedom.
Think about one of the fears that you have in your life,what does this fear give to you?
Now imagine that you were a person who doesn't have your special kind of fear,what opportunities have this person in the plate?
How do you feel if you were that person?

Doing your best in the present vs concerns

When I was talking with one of my clients who is my colleagus as well yesterday about concerns and how to get rid of them,he said:"You are extraordinary that can be not worried about the future".
YYYes ,maybe he was right,maybe not,we, as humanbeings are always waiting for the brighter future,better results, our dreams to come true in a not long time from now,.....and sometimes waiting for miracles to happen in front of us in a magic way.......Yah! these are true and all of us,at least for just one time have experienced these moments of expectation!!!!!
and so do I !!!

What everyone do in these moments depends on their perspective,their beliefs,their past experiences and even the amount of their patience,.....
But what makes us extraordinary in these moments is how much we take everything significant,and how much we need fun in our lives,how much we want our dreams to come true and how much the goal we are concerned about is really really what we want!!!

Everything will happen through an action,even when you are thinking about your willings you are in action,since according to the law of attraction you are attracting opportunities to your life at that moment.....,
So,where is the place of our concerns here?
When you are in action,you are in the way of reaching your goal,you are doing your best to acheive what you want and if you really want it,there would be no free space for concerns,you will occupy every moments with a plan,structure and action,you will feel freedom,joy and happiness in every moment.......
because now, will be the past of the future and if you fill it with the future concerns ,what will you achieve?
I do my best now to achieve more in the future,I enjoy my life now to have less regrets in the future,what will you do?

Does NLP can work during coaching sessions?

As everyone who is familiar with NLP knows,it's a special kind of communication in which the NLP practitioner is going to get as much information as s/he can get from the clients,in order to help them enrich their map of reality that they have.
The researchers determined that in communication,7% of what we communicate is the result of the words we say,or the content of our speech,38% is a result of our verbal behavior,it contains tone of the voice,timbre,tempo and volume.55% is about nonverbal communication,our body posture,breathing,skin color and our movement.
So what do you think about coaching communication?
BIG QUESTION???
We have mostly telesessions with our clients,due to the research results it seems that we loose 55% of information,how to compensate it?
Do we able to get the rest of information just by asking powerful questions?Visualization?Role playing and ask them to describe their feelings and .....
How to deal with telling the truth?.......

NLP and coaching

For the first time when I came across with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) in my life was when I attended in a seminar as a student at university,it was not clear for me at that time that how could it work,it was just a word untill I decided to be a coach,especially an international coach.
During a coaching session goals are set based on the clients values,usually clients are not commited to the goals which are not aligned with their values,on the other hand sometimes there are some beliefs and judgements that keep them back from moving forward.
But why people have different values?Where do the beliefs and judgments come from?
As a coach,do we have to know about all of those questions's answers?
We are trained to let the past and whatever related to it go,but to what extend we should let them go?
"NLP began as a model of how we communicate to ourselves and others which was developed by Richard Bandler and Jhon Grinder.This model explains how we process the information that comes into us from the outside.The belief is that:THE MAP IS NOT TERRITORY. And so the internal representations that we make about an outside event are not necessarily the event itself."Tad James,M.S,Ph.D
So it seems that as our beliefs and values mostly come from our past,our families, our culture and many other things such as our past decisions and experiences which obviously make our brains operating system,it will be a good idea to know more about them,at least whenever we are encountered with a client from a different culture.
Maybe it's better to take a look at their map in order to enrich it for them.
If you bring a computer to your office with an unfamiliar OS what would you do?
Do you change the OS or try to get to know it and learn how to communicate with it?

When should we use NLP in coaching?

Trough one of my coaching education sessions, I heard from my instructor that cultural specifications might effect on our coaching process with our clients,one of my classmates reminded a good point in this issue.She told that maybe our clients speak in English but think in their own language.
What a great valuable point!!!
But does it mean that we should just coach the people who have similar culture with us?So how to coach a client who is coming from other cultures?
How to handle this issue?I tried to challenge myself to be more clarified in this subject.
My instructor also noted another point which was fantastic,that was about different operating systems which somehow have run on different brains from different cultures......
Great point again!!!!
What if we could change that operating system with a new one at least during our coaching sessions or what if we could make a new protocol to be able to communicate despite of this big difference?
Finally,I found NLP(Neuro Linguistic Programming) as a great tool in dealing with cultural issues.
How to use it?