There are sometimes when we don't know how to response........response comes from a grown and positive personality , but what to do when we face people who are negative and/or immature, people who live in the past and not open to a constructive conversation?
People who think they are the center of the universe.....based on our standards and boundaries , maybe we decide to remove them from our lives but what if they are our family members?

Hello LIFE

Happy to start a new chapter of my life

God ! help me on my way! recently I have started PhD in Photonics, it was a dream to get involved in researching on some fields academically, especially on how visualization works...I've had always some ideas in my mind but never had a chance to develop them. Now I think this is the time, although some people think it's late for me to do that but I'm persistent ... And somewhere deep inside I feel great ......I started coaching in 2009 since then I've learned wonderful lessons !!!!!! trust and putting in actions my dreams . So grateful I am to my God who is supporting me always ......I know where to go by 10 years later and I trust that it will happen ......I will be a Professor and I am married by then.....I really love to support others to find their own way in their life journey ........ It's been a long time,since I stopped blogging, thats why I am not writing fluentl:))

How do we react and why?

Finally! I'm here again, after a long time of not being able to access my blog...
One of my friends, one day said : " It's so very difficult tolerating my old angry mom who is always judges others, yells and blames, It gets much more difficult when she starts to curse when others don't do what she wants".
As a coach who wants help others to stay happy, I asked her what is annoying her most? she said:" The way she treats people around her,even me, when people obey her, she likes them but if they resist to obey just after a few moment of helping her,she starts to curse..and I believe her curses work, since she is my mom I think she has to be obeyed always and God will never forgive me if I don't follow her orders. I don't know what to do?"
WOW!!....I said:" you believe she has right to curse you and others,right?"
: "yes"
: "how do you react this action of her?"
: " I stay silent for a while and when she doesn't stop I react the same as her, I think by her curse my future is destroying and I get angry"
: "aha...you feel angry because you believe God is waiting to obey her orders even if she is wrong and it destroys your future, so you get angry and feel annoyed "
: "yes, so what should I do?"
: "sounds like your anger and annoyance come from your believes about God's treats!"
: that's right
: what belief can you replace that keeps you calm when she yell or ....
:" I think I have to find one so that I think differently when she curs"
:" aha"
:" maybe I can repeat in my mind that GOD loves me and her both so he judges based on truth not based on her curs and leave her for a while until she stops"
: " good idea"
:" oh yes! thank you I figure it out..ha ha ha, everything was coming from my negative feelings and they came from negative believes about GOD and universe"

Values and our lives purposes

Have you ever thought about your life's purpose? why are you living in this world? what are you living for?
Difficult question, ha? It's more likely to ask why are you breathing? Seems we have taken our living for granted! In most of the time we set goals and start to get going towards it, but at the middle of the way , we start hesitating, IS THAT THE RIGHT WAY?
It's very similar to the situation when you devise a trip and don't know where is your exact destination......you may proceed to the nearest city but where to go after it?
When you don't have a specific map,it's not easy to keep going, each moment you may think of whether you are in the right way or not..
So how to make sure of being on the right track?
GOOD QUESTION !!!
Just take a look at what you've done and been fulfilled by it....what is most remarkable on them? What has made you satisfied ? What is common pattern between them?
Is that possible that you have been following goals that were based on your values and that's why you've been fulfilled?
What if you get clear on your values first then enlighten your purpose of life?

Communication

I was thinking about communication and the constructive and distructive factors that impact on it.
If you know how to communicate you may start a good relationship and if you don't know you may destroy it all at once.
But how to communicate? What are those distuctive factors we need to avoid when we communicate? How to make a good relationship?
Why do you start a relationship of any kind? what does it bring to your life that you have made it happen?
Take a paper and write down some of those reasons? Is there anything else? Yes/No? What?
Can't start writing? Need help?
Think about the moments you're alone, it happens for all of us in many times,regardless of who we are,what gender we have,....remember the first time you start to communicate with someone else,why did you begin to communicate?
Remember your best friend and the time you've spent with him/her?
What did s/he bring to your moments?
Now think about someone who you don't like to spend time with, what s/he bring to your moments?
How your feelings are different when you're in those moments?
Write down those two extreme scenarious in different sides of a paper sheet then compare them.
Ask from 5 of your friends to do the same, how similar they've replied?how different?
What factors are the same?
how are you going to bring those factors in your relationships?

Visualization and coaching

OH YEP!!!
That's what I researched recently......Visualization!!!
I'm going to bring what I've found and share it with you.
Here it is...
When I started to research, there was two directions I could take,one was about how it works in a scientific point of view,the other was how much it is helpful in coaching.
Let's follow the first direction at the beginning;
There are different explanations for how imagination works in terms of personal reality's creation and I present as much as I can.....
As Quantum Physics states,every material object can acts as a packet of waves as well.
By solving the most fundamental equation in Quantum Physics which has been introduced by Schrodinger in any special case,we will find a super position of states or probabilities as a solution for that equation, in order to reach out the final solution in the real world, based on what we are measuring or observing we reduce the states or probabilities to one state/probability.
The reduction of states during observation to just one state is what we choose in our reality,that means every one of us as an observer can change the reality just by choosing the special probability.....wow!!!
So by changing your thoughts you are able to change your environment.
There is also another explanation which uses the spooky action at distance, it also uses the functionality of neurons as electromagnetic waves producers in our brains, this electromagnetic waves can also demonstrate particle characteristics, when you sense something by your body's sensors these particle-waves been created by neurons, what if you just imagine something , it's opposite of sensation,right? in this way the source of the image can be ceated in the reality via spooky action at distance......
you may read my research paper in order to get more details....
Let's get back and go to the second direction , that means How it works in coaching...

there are two ways:

1. As a coaching tool/fieldwork/exercise helping the client reprogram his/her subconscious just like the way that affirmations work
2. By having the client imagine what s/he desires and supporting him/her through creation of a clear picture of what s/he wants, help him/her to come up with the best solutions

There are several effective visualisation techniques which I will bring about in my future posts...